it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
