I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
