i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
