you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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