Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
