I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
