I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it's great music for shaving your balls
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
