I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
