I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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