you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
