You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
