weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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