Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
