i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
