so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
