You just made me feel so damn special
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
