im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
