You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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