...so i touched it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
