Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
