Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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