She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
