Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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