dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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