omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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