Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
