I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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