I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
