glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
