i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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