Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
bring money and cleavage
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
