D3 body, D1 cock
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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