i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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