He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
