FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize