She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
