i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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