P.S. I can't hear my feet
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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