How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
