Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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