We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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