apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
