After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
