Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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