Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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