i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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