Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
