Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
