i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
