it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
