i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
