your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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