I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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