My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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