He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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