Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i out mim tonsoeep
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