I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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