It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
