Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
