Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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