goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
