i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
