You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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